Hip Shelf
by Emma-Lynn
Summary: Ron tries to convince Hermione it's easier for women to hold babies than for men. A funny little fic I wrote while having writers block. Rated T for safety ONESHOT!


**Hip Shelf**

"She likes it if you hold her on your side," Hermione said watching her husband struggle to find a comfortable way to hold his one-year-old daughter, Annabelle.

"I tried that, my arms fall asleep with in minutes!" Ron told her.

"Oh come on, I _always _hold her on my side and _my _arms don't fall asleep! And you're a lot stronger than I am!"

"Well I don't have a shelf she can sit on like you do!" Ron said hoisting his daughter up for the third time in a minute.

"A _what_?" Hermione said, her eyes narrowing.

"A shelf, you know, hips!" Ron said as if stating the obvious.

"What are you talking about?" Hermione asked stiffening a little, "Are you telling me my hips are big?"

"What- no!" Ron said alarmed at the icy glare he was receiving from his wife. "I just meant-"

"_You_ try having a baby and see if _your _hips don't get a little bigger Ronald!"

"No, 'Mione, I didn't mean it like that- I…" Ron said practically cowering under Hermione's cold stare. He smiled when she put her hands on her hips and continued glaring at him. She looked exactly like she did when they were in school and she scolded him for not doing his homework. Sometimes he would get her flustered just to see her like this…fire and ice combined in her eyes, her hair falling in her flushed face and how she had the knack of intimidating him even though the top of her head only just reached the center of his chest. Her gaze softened, but only a smidge at his smile. He had the usual sensation to snog her senseless but then remembered he was holding their child in his arms.

"Look…here-"He said handing her Annabelle. Hermione instantly and naturally held her against her hip. "See?" Ron said pointing to Hermione's hip.

Hermione looked and then furrowed her brow at Ron.

"See? You can just pop out your hip and she just sits on it!"

Hermione rolled her eyes, "Oh, please Ron," she said handing Annabelle back to him as she made a bottle for her.

"No, I'm serious! You women have, like, a built in seat for your children!"

"Ron, that isn't true!" Hermione retorted holding her arms out to Annabelle again.

"Yes it is! See?" Ron said as again, Hermione jutted her left hip out and rested Annabelle against it, "See, you just stick your hip out and voila, portable shelf!"

Hermione smiled as she set Annabelle in her play-pen in the living-room and handed her her bottle.

"I'm right aren't I?" Ron said slyly.

Hermione snorted at Ron's satisfied smile as she walked up to him. "Is it _hard _to be a man?" she asked him mockingly seductive as she placed a hand on his chest and blinked her amber eyes up at him.

Ron didn't reply but leaned down to kiss Hermione. She turned her head so Ron caught her cheek instead of her lips. Ron looked confusedly at her.

"Are my hips really big though?" she asked him seriously. Ron laughed. She'd gotten a little self-conscious ever since she got pregnant with Annabelle. "Truthfully." Hermione said trying and failing to scowl at Ron.

"Truthfully?" Ron asked. Hermione nodded, "Your hips are not _big _Hermione. They are _slightly _bigger than they were before you had Annabelle-"Hermione looked somewhat crestfallen. "But," Ron said in a low alluring voice, "I think it makes you look all the more sexy…"

Hermione giggled as he leaned down and kissed her full on the lips as he ran a hand down her hips. She shrieked softly as he lifted her up and carried her towards the stairs leading to their bedroom.

"Shh," Ron said, "Annabelle's asleep,"

Little did Annabelle know, she would be getting a brand new baby brother approximately nine months from that night…

**A/N: I know I should be working on 'Summer's Romance' but I had a MAJOR writers block and this story was just stuck in my head and I knew it wouldn't go away until I wrote it so I did. I got the whole 'Hip Shelf' thing from listening to a conversation with some people I know at a picnic get together. I thought it was amusing so I decided to spice it up a bit and post it. Hope you liked it and I'm doing the best I can with 'Summer's Romance'!**


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